You can destroy a life with a smiley. Choose wisely.

Today, I am telling you about Dirk.

Dirk is sitting on the sofa in the evening. The TV is playing quietly in the background; he opens Facebook on his phone and scrolls through his feed. He sees an article about a suspected terrorist attack. People in mortal danger. And Dirk actively clicks on the 😂 smiley.

13 people have already done this before him. For most of us, it is inconceivable to show such a reaction in the face of suffering and death. What is happening over there in Dirk's living room? To understand this, we must not judge Dirk morally—we must dissect him scientifically.

The Machine Room in Dirk's Head

Imagine if we could look into the machine room of such a user at this exact moment. If we were to slide this reaction into an fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) scanner, a clear picture often emerges. Hate and malice are not irrational chaos. Studies by University College London (UCL, Zeki & Romaya) prove that the brain activates a specific "hate circuit" when feeling hate—primarily the putamen and the insular cortex (insula).

The putamen prepares Dirk's body for aggressive actions. Clicking the smiley rarely has anything to do with humor. It can be the digital expression of a derogatory emotion. Why does someone act like this? Sometimes it is mere immaturity, peer pressure, or the desperate attempt to deal with the incomprehensible. Often it is cynicism, frustration, or the desire to belong to a group. If the commenter feels inferior or lonely, the attempt to distinguish themselves through devaluation can subjectively suggest strength.

The Dopamine Hit and Devaluation into an Object

For this user to be able to acknowledge suffering with a laughing smiley in this moment, empathetic processes seem to be at least temporarily weakened. Neurobiological studies suggest that during dehumanization, activity in Dirk's medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) can measurably decrease. This region is responsible for compassion and perspective-taking.

For Dirk to react this way, a form of emotional blunting is likely, at least temporarily. Those affected are no longer perceived as individual humans in this moment but are degraded to objects. This selective empathy is not a rare phenomenon. Psychology recognizes numerous mechanisms through which we pay more attention to some fates than others. Our fictional Dirk also constantly—often unconsciously—makes evaluations about who deserves his empathy. A few examples from his world:

• When Dirk watches a documentary about "Timmy the Whale," he gets teary-eyed. But the fact that millions of factory-farmed animals suffer in agony doesn't touch him at dinner.
• If a European passenger falls off a cruise ship, Dirk immediately supports investing tens of thousands of euros in the rescue. If hundreds of people drown in the Mediterranean, he scrolls past with a shrug.
• If there is an attack in Paris or Berlin, Dirk changes his profile picture to black to show sympathy. However, Dirk doesn't even notice that countless children in Africa die of hunger or war every day in his daily business.
• A homeless person freezes on the street, and Dirk walks quickly past. But when he reads that a dog was abandoned on the highway, he angrily demands the death penalty for the perpetrator.

Did you recognize yourself somewhere?

We all have to constantly question ourselves whether we see value correctly. We all select. The difference is: With actions like the laughing smiley, this mechanism escalates digitally. In psychology, this is called the Online Disinhibition Effect. This disinhibition has many facets—even positive ones. But its dark side is dangerous: The screen acts as an abstraction shield and can drastically reduce social inhibitions. If a user feels isolated, they use exactly this toxic side of disinhibition as a shortcut. Devaluing others can subjectively convey the feeling of being superior oneself or belonging to a group. Social validation by like-minded people can massively fire up reward processes in the brain. A brief rush that can trap people in such dynamics.

We are the Protective Shield for the Next Generation

When we see this emotional blunting, it can scare us. We want to protect our children from people like Dirk. But how? Certainly not by looking away in an educationally softened manner.

We protect our children by waking up adults and appealing to our responsibility. We must understand that our perspective does not always have to be the only and right one. True coexistence requires respect for the counterpart, regardless of which side of the screen you sit on.

The world must understand that every life has exactly the same value.

We cannot reach every adult, but we can ensure that our children never reach this level of disinhibition in the first place. Empathy cannot be forced, but it can be modeled. By staying loud, showing a stance, and teaching our children that there is always a human being on the other end of the internet, we promote their neurobiological capacity for empathy and perspective-taking.

You can make a life better with a smiley 💜